at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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