I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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