Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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