Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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