fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
