Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
