Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I could make wine with my vomit
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
This baby is an asshole
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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