I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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