is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
