i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
