I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Randomize
