How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
worst night to have a conscience
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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