i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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