Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
We got so high we made milksteak
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Randomize
