I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize