I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
