Nicole vs. Life
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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