you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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