so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
