i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
