Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
