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Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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