I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize
