this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I am spending my child support on dildos
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
