Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
