She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
