Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
