i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
