Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
