Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
How does it feel to date your dad?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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