What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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