Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
