I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
