Christians are straight up FREAKS
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
