Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm like, not good at living.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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