i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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