why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
