wrigley field is MILF paradise
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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