I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
