yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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