I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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