All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
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