Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
