so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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