I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
did you just send me my own nude
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
