Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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