So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Quick, to the slutcave!
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
