we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
