chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
