Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize