I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
