so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize