i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
