Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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