I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
