I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
whose parrot is this?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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