Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
A bitchslap is in order.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
