I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
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