ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
