Porn is love you can see.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
