Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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