Nicole vs. Life
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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