Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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