So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
