id be glad to
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
