you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Such a big mess for such a small penis
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
