dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
