its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
