i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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