I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
