Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'm bleeding and have questions
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
