Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
