Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
