theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
