A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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