Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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